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SCENE: Outside Green Gables
Anne Shirley: Be prepared, tree. Today you have the thrill of being climbed by Anne of Green Gables. the greatest tree climber in Avonlea. [grunts] There. Your cooperation is most appreciated. Aha! One victim, right on schedule.
Aha!
Diana Barry: [screams and starts crying]
Anne: Diana? It's only me. I-I was only playing.
Diana: [crying] It's not. That... it's– it's– Oh, it's too dreadful!
Anne: [off-screen] What is, Diana? What's wrong?
Diana: I can't tell you. I'm– I'm so ashamed. No one will want to be my friend anymore, not even you.
Anne: Diana, no matter what you've done, I will stand by your side, today, tomorrow, and forever.
Diana: We are kindred spirits, aren't we?
Anne: Bosom friends forever.
Diana: Well... well you see I have... um, um... I have things in my hair.
Anne: Things?
Diana: You know, lice. They're up there. My head itches all the time.
Anne: Lice? You have head lice?
SCENE: Woods, later
Diana: [off-screen] My mother boiled all the bedding and spread lye everywhere. I washed my hair three times this morning.
Anne: Regular soap won't work. Marilla always says Peg Bowen cures what ails you. If anybody can help, it's her.
Diana: I suppose so.
Anne: There's nothing to be afraid of.
Anne and Diana: [scream]
Diana: [whispers] What was that?
Anne: [sighs] Her pet crow.
Diana: Oh, I'm glad you're with me. Do you think she'll accept these eggs as payment?
Anne: I hope so. We don't have any money.
Diana: [off-screen] Let's get this over with.
Anne: [off-screen] Hello? Anybody here?
Diana: [off-screen] It's only us.
Anne: Anybody home?
Diana: [whispers] Maybe we should wait outside.
Anne: No, come on.
Anne and Diana: [scream and sigh]
Anne: [off-screen] It's only the wind.
Anne and Diana: [scream]
Anne: What do you think it is?
Diana: Blood.
Anne: [sniffs] Cranberries.
Diana: [off-screen] Thank goodness.
[Anne and Diana scream and run away. They gasp as they run into Peg Bowen.]
Peg Bowen: So you've come to mess up my home?
Anne: Uh, no, we'll clean it up, promise.
Peg: No need. [snaps her fingers] I have my own help.
Diana: Help?
Peg: Let me guess, tummy ache, warts, corns, bunions? Not sleeping enough? Sleeping too much?
Anne: It's not me, it's Diana.
Diana: I have um... head lice.
Peg: Lice? Oh. Is that all?
Diana: Isn't that enough?
Peg: You might think so, but everybody gets 'em, sooner or later. Now those pests can be real, well, pests. This will fix you up. Shampoo twice a day, never fails. Little varmints will be gone in a week.
Diana: Oh, thank you.
Peg: Uh, uh, uh. Little matter of payment, missy.
Anne: We brought six eggs, but...
Peg: Hmm. Tell you what, you bring me six eggs day after tomorrow, and see that you do. You wouldn't want Peg Bowen mad at you.
Anne: No ma'am. I surely wouldn't.
SCENE: Green Gables yard, later
Diana: Aaah. [sighs] So cold.
Anne: Keep rubbing.
Diana: [sniffs] Ugh, it smells like garlic.
Marilla Cuthbert: Would someone explain what on Earth is going on?
Anne: Uh, Diana wanted to try this new shampoo.
Marilla: Behind the house?
Diana: [sighs] The truth is, Miss Cuthbert, I have head lice.
Marilla: That so? Well, there are lots of worse things in this world.
Anne: Peg Bowen gave us this. It's a magic potion.
Marilla: Nonsense. [sniffs] It's wild geranium, thyme, mint [sniffs] and wild garlic.
Diana: I knew it!
Anne: That works?
Marilla: It'll take a week or so. Till then I don't want you sharing clothes, or your hats, ribbons, or combs. And don't you be touching Diana's hair. I know it itches fiercely, but try not to scratch. I had them once, and Anne will probably get them one of these days too.
Anne: Me? Yuck! I'm never going to– I mean, I hope I don't.
Diana: I only hope everyone will be that understanding. [off-screen] Oh, I'm absolutely dreading school tomorrow. Oh, Anne, I'm so grateful you're standing by me. [exclaims]
SCENE: Crossroads, another day
Diana: [off-screen] Anne! Anne, wait!
Anne: Morning, Diana.
Diana: [off-screen] Anne, you have to promise me, not a word to anyone except for Miss King. My mother insists I tell her. Will you come with me?
Anne: [off-screen] Anything to help you in your dreadful circumstances, Diana.
Felicity King: Hmm.
SCENE: Avonlea schoolyard, later
Felicity: [off-screen] It's going to be the best costume sleepover ever.
Felix King: It's not fair. I have to go stay at Gilbert's for the night.
Felicity: That's because it's girls only. Who are you coming as, Diana?
Diana: Cinderella. My mom's making a ball gown.
Felicity: How nice for you.
Felix: Felicity's going to be Cinderella, too.
Felicity: I'm a princess, Felix, that's totally different. Victoria, I adore your new hair clips.
Victoria: They're from my aunt. Want to try them on?
Felix: [giggles] Not me.
Felicity: Diana, they might help you achieve that Cinderella quality you're after. Go on, try it.
Diana: No, I uh–
Anne: Here comes Miss King.
Diana: I'll try them later. Excuse us.
Felicity: Hmm.
SCENE: Avonlea school, classroom, later
Hetty King: I'm glad you told me, Diana. Head lice are always a bother, but take certain precautions and you can prevent them from spreading.
Diana: I'm sorry, Miss King.
Miss King: Good heavens, child, it's no more your fault than if you were bitten by a mosquito or stung by a bee. Head lice can happen to anyone.
Felicity: [gasps]
SCENE: Avonlea schoolyard, later
Diana: What's wrong?
Felicity: We know, Diana. You have things in your hair.
Victoria: Don't you ever wash?
Children: [off-screen] Dirty girl, dirty girl!
Anne: That's not fair. Miss King said anybody can get head lice. It's got nothing to do with being dirty.
Felicity: Well, I for one wouldn't play with someone who has head lice.
Victoria: Me neither.
Felix: Yeah, we might all catch it.
Diana: You won't! I'm being very careful and–
Felicity: Sorry, Diana, but for our sake, we request that you keep your distance. Now, what do you all say to a game of tag before the bell rings?
Children: [laugh off-screen] Dirty girl, dirty girl!
Diana: I knew it. They're shunning me.
Anne: It's beastly, and it isn't right.
Children: [laugh]
Anne: Diana's our friend. She's one of us. We should be sticking together.
Felicity: You're it!
Felix: Here I come!
Children: [laugh off-screen] Run, run! [laugh]
Anne: Felicity, you can't do this to Diana.
Felicity: We already have. In fact, if you insist on a associating with her, we'll ignore you too.
Anne: But what did I do?
SCENE: Forest path, later
Diana: This is the worst day of my life.
Anne: Once your lice are gone, people will speak to you again, you'll see.
Diana: I don't care if they ever speak to me again. [off-screen] I don't need them.
Anne: We all need friends, Diana. There's nothing worse than not having friends.
Felicity: Oh, Anne! [off-screen] May we speak to you for a moment?
Anne: [off-screen] Uh oh.
Diana: Better see what they want.
Felicity: Don't forget, we're all going to my place to decorate for the sleepover.
Anne: Oh, yes. I'll come over after I walk Diana home.
Gilbert Blythe: Why? I hear she has plenty of company.
Children: [laugh]
Felicity: Diana and her... guests are obviously uninvited to my sleepover.
Victoria: [off-screen] Nobody wants to sleep next to someone with lice.
Diana: [gasps]
Anne: But the lice will be gone by then.
Felicity: No decorating, no sleepover. Either come with us now, or you'll be uninvited too.
Anne: Me?
Victoria: Yeah. We don't want you bringing Diana's creepy crawlies with you.
Anne: [off-screen] Oh, don't be silly. There's nothing wrong with me.
Felicity: [off-screen] Not yet.
Anne: They want me to help decorate.
Diana: And you want to go with them?
Anne: I really want to go to the sleepover. I worked on my costume for a month.
Diana: Fine then. Go if that's what you want.
Anne: Oh, Diana, thank you. I simply can't miss out on this. We can be together tomorrow.
Diana: [sniffs]
Anne: [off-screen] I'm here and ready to decorate.
Gilbert: Great. Decorating's better than being nice to lice.
Children: [laugh]
Diana: [sighs]
SCENE: Green Gables, Anne's room, evening
Anne: Avast ye matey. Hmm, not bad. [sneezes]
Katie Maurice: Gazuntite.
Anne: Thank you.
Katie: Did you have a nice time at Felicity's?
Anne: Most enjoyable. Gilbert hit his finger with the hammer. He was very brave and pretended that it didn't smart but his fingernail turned a rather icky shade of purple. Almost the same colour as the ribbons we used to festoon the porch. Hmm, Felix didn't believe that festooned was a word. Hah, so Amy and I festooned him with so much ribbon that he couldn't move. It was such fun.
Katie: How much fun do you think it was for Diana?
Anne: It's a shame she couldn't be there. I know the others were being beastly.
Katie: Must be awful to be ignored by everybody.
Anne: I couldn't bear it. That's why I'll stand by her. I'll be a true friend.
SCENE: Peg Bowen's house, another day
Felicity: [off-screen] I know you had a potion for Diana. Maybe it'll work for me.
Anne: [gasps] Felicity?
Peg: [off-screen] The medicine will work, but you shouldn't have waited a whole week before coming to me.
Felicity: It's just that I was afraid to tell anybody. If people at school knew I had head lice [Anne gasps] I'd be mortified.
Anne: Wait till Diana hears this.
SCENE: On the way to school, later
Anne: Diana! Diana! Guess what? Felicity had head lice. She got them last week before you did.
Diana: You betrayed me! How could you do that to me? How?
Anne: What?
Diana: You left me alone while you went off with the others.
Anne: All I did was help with the decorations.
Diana: You didn't want them to ignore you. That was more important to you than our friendship.
Anne: Why are you angry with me? It was Felicity who started it.
Diana: Felicity is not my bosom friend. When you went off with them it was like you were saying they were right to shun me.
Anne: Diana, I'm sorry. I didn't know I let you down. [off-screen] I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Diana: I don't know.
Anne: I'll make it up to you. I promise. I can't wait to see Felicity's face when we tell the others about her.
Diana: Why? So she can feel as awful as I did?
Anne: You're right. That is a noble choice to make and I will make it with you, even if every ounce of my being wants to get back at her.
SCENE: Classroom, later
Felix: That was a good time decorating.
Gilbert: Watch out Felix, or Anne might festoon you again.
Anne: Careful, or I might just festoon your hair with some creepy crawlies.
Gilbert: Oh no! Anything but that!
Anne and Gilbert: [laugh]
Anne: Creepy crawlies! Creepy crawlies! [laughs and gasps]
Diana, I– [stammers] Oh no.
SCENE: Classroom, later
Hetty: So far, you have named four wives, but Henry VIII had six wives.
Anne: [whispers] Diana, I made a terrible mistake.
Hetty: [off-screen] Can anyone tell me who's missing?
Diana: Catherine Parr.
Hetty: Well done, Diana. That leaves one.
Felix: Florence Nightingale?
Hetty: [off-screen] That would be difficult, Felix, she wasn't born for another 300 years. Come now. King Henry knew the names of his wives and so should you.
Victoria: Anne Boleyn?
Hetty: Yes! Anne Boleyn, who betrayed the king. [off-screen] Who can tell me what price Anne paid for her betrayal? Anne?
Anne: Huh? [stammers] I don't know.
Hetty: [off-screen] Diana?
Diana: For her betrayal, Anne was beheaded.
Anne: [gulps]
SCENE: Way home from school, later
Diana: [singing] My love, my love, you do me wrong / To treat me so discourteously / For I have loved–
Anne: Diana, I'm trying to make amends, but you've ignored me all day.
Diana: Now you know how I feel.
Anne: Diana, wait. Oh, Anne, what have you done?
SCENE: Anne's imagination, forest
Light Willow: Eh, you've done the right thing if you ask me.
Dark Willow: [off-screen] Any why, pray tell, would anyone want to ask you?
Anne: Do you really think I did the right thing?
Light Willow: Of course you did. All that matters is looking out for yourself.
Dark Willow: Listen to him. No consideration for anyone else. I have to struggle for a few rays of sunlight on my leaves.
Light Willow: This little girl needs to do what it takes to keep her friends. Me? I'd give anything for a social life beyond you.
Dark Willow: [off-screen] Then why don't you just leave?
Light Willow: [off-screen, laughs] I wish I could.
Dark Willow: [off-screen] Here we go again. [yawns ironically]
Light Willow: I lament the day the wind blew our seeds together.
Anne: I can't believe you want apart. You've always seemed so inseparable, just like Diana and me.
Light Willow: Forget about her, that's my advice.
Anne: If you don't care about anybody but yourself, then who will care about you? You'll be lonely and unhappy. When I came to Avonlea, I didn't have a single friend.
Light Willow: Aren't we exaggerating just a trifle?
Dark Willow: For once, I agree with you.
Anne: It's true. Diana is my first and best friend. She's always stood by me. I remember when Gilbert called me Carrots.
SCENE: Flashback: "Carrots", Anne is dying her hair
Anne: [voice over] It was Diana who understood how awful I felt and tried to help me get rid of my red hair, even if her idea didn't quite work.
Flashback Anne: [screams]
SCENE: Flashback: "The Sleeves", Diana is in the dory
Flashback Diana: That's because I am–
Anne: [voice over] And when I didn't have a puff sleeved dress to wear to meet the grand Amelia Evans, Diana offered to loan me her best one. She cried when it was ruined, because she knew how much it meant to me. That's how much we cared for one another.
SCENE: Anne's imagination, forest
Anne: Diana extended her friendship to a poor orphan. That's a precious gift, and I should never toss it aside, no matter what the consequences.
Willows: [off-screen, crying]
Anne: Huh?
Light Willow: That's such a touching story. Can you ever forgive me for wanting to pack up my trunk and leave? [both cry]
Dark Willow: Here we are, and here we'll stand, friends for another hundred years.
SCENE: Forest, present day
Anne: You need to be together, and so do Diana and I.
SCENE: Diana's house, later
Anne: Diana?
Diana: Go away!
Anne: Diana, I made a terrible mistake, but our friendship means more than the entire world to me.
Diana: You're not my friend anymore. I would rather have no friends than a false friend I can't count on.
SCENE: Anne's room, later
Anne: [sighs] Oh, Marilla. If only we could go back in time and erase our mistakes.
Marilla: We're only human, Anne. We all make mistakes. The true test of friendship is how we deal with them.
Anne: But I've lost Diana.
Marilla: Friendships aren't built in a day, they're not lost as quickly either.
Anne: I feel so wretched.
Marilla: You can be sure that Diana is going though an even rougher patch. If you don't forgive yourself and get on with it, how are you going to help a friend who needs you?
Anne: Marilla, you're right. [slurps]
SCENE: Avonlea schoolyard, another day
Children: [off-screen, laugh]
Felix: [off-screen] Anne! The ball.
Felicity: [off-screen] Amy's safe! It's your turn, Felix. Anne can play third base.
Gilbert: You're supposed to be on third.
Felicity: Anne? What are you doing?
Children: [off-screen] Huh?
Felicity: I'm warning you, Anne, if you don't play with us now, you'll never play with us again.
Anne: You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You should be helping her, not turning your back. I've never seen such a bunch of cowards.
Felicity: You have no right to talk to us that way. Hmph.
Anne: I certainly do 'cause I'm the worst of the lot. I ignored Diana to be with you, even though Diana is the best friend I've ever had. I don't care about your sleepover, Felicity. I don't care if none of you ever speak to me again. I did betray Diana. I might not get my head chopped off, but still, there's no worse crime, 'cause best friends should stand by one another, no matter what.
Felicity: Well, that was dramatic. Now, can we get on with out game?
Diana: Thank you for what you said.
Anne: Diana, I wish with all my heart, that there was something I could do to make amends.
Diana: Well, for starters, I could use a push.
Anne: [sighs] My pleasure.
Anne and Diana: [giggle]
SCENE: Avonlea schoolyard, later
Felicity: I don't need this.
Felix: You're supposed to wear it.
Felicity: It messes my hair.
Gilbert: [off-screen] If you don't wear the helmet, you can't bat. It's a rule.
Felicity: Fine, I'll wear the helmet.
Anne: [off-screen] Don't do it, Felicity. It isn't fair to the others.
Felicity: What are you talking about?
Diana: We know you have a problem. You shouldn't spread it around.
Felicity: [gasps]
Anne: Why don't you be noble and admit it, before you bring new meaning to the word nitwit.
Felicity: [whispers] I can't. I don't wanna be shunned.
Diana: You won't be. Well, not by me anyway.
Felicity: [sighs] I have an announcement to make. I have head lice, too, just like Diana.
Felix: Wait until mother and father hear this.
Gilbert: Why don't we just all play ball? Diana can take first base, Felicity can play second, and Anne can bat.
Felicity: Let's play!
Diana: Batter up!
SCENE: The woods, another day
Anne: Come on, we don't want to be late.
Diana: [off-screen] Cinderella never walked to her ball.
Anne: These are my two favourite trees.
Peg: [off-screen] And why is that?
Anne and Diana: [scream]
Anne: Because they're inseparable, just like Diana and me.
Peg: Did your little visitors skedaddle?
Diana: Yes, thank you.
Anne: Now that Felicity's cured too, we're finally having that sleepover.
Peg: Best get to it before my crow picks a fight with your feathered friend.
Anne and Diana: Yes ma'am. [laugh]