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SCENE: Anne is in her bedroom.

Anne: I literally have no words.


Anne: Ahh! Just kidding. I actually have plenty of words. Along with quite a few expressions, comments and remarks to add to the initial words.

Mrs Rachel Lynde is a horrid, detestable, unfeeling woman. She has a Twitter account where she posts knitting patterns and makes snarky comments and gossips about others and I followed her because it was all fairly amusing, and what else do I have to do with my time besides the Internet? Knit scarves and gossip?

But a few days after her visit, she posts this slanderous tweet about me, as if I wouldn't know who it was about! Like I'm some ignorant child who wouldn't recognise a slap in the face if I'm not ... if I'm not tagged! I was born into what most people call the [makes air quotes] 'Internet Generation', or something of that nature, Rachel.

[consults her phone] Ah, here it is. And I quote, 'I'm sure foster care forms don't have a box for preference on looks.' And a little later: 'My cousin was born a redhead, too. She lives far away, thank goodness.' Yeah! Honestly! How dare she say those things about me! She might as well have told me that I was scrawny and freckly and ugly and ... too ginger! Instead, she hides behind some picture of a cat on the Internet.

I actually hate her and her self-righteous attitude and the way she looks down her nose at everyone she meets. Have you seen some of the things she posts on Twitter? How would she like it if people said things like that about her, eh? What if I went on Twitter and said that she was a gossipy nag and that she was morbidly obese and it doesn't take any sort of imagination to follow a stupid knitting pattern, anyways! Her feelings would probably be just as wounded as mine! I wish I could say those things to her on Twitter or to her face. Oh, I hate her so much! Who gave her the right?

Unfortunately, I'm seventeen years old. And despite the fact that Rachel Lynde doesn't understand how a grown woman should behave online, I'm not going to stoop to her level. I won't be like her. I suppose I should do the mature thing and focus on something else and not get so riled up. Ahh! But I'm so angry! I can't stop thinking about it. If she sees me like that, what if everyone else sees me like that? Oh, I can't bear to think that everyone in Avonlea would see me as a scrawly, freckled little twit.

I'm going to go meditate or drink some tea or something. Please send positive thoughts for my sanity. Or, send scathing tweets to @rachellynde on Twitter. Not that I'd recommend that kind of behaviour. I'm just simply pointing it out as an option. Anne Shirley, out. [reaches for the camera]

Oh! P.S. I started school and met a few other detestable people as well. I'll tell you about it later.

Green Gables Fables universe
Green Gables Fables (2014–2016) (episodes · gallery)
Green Gables Fables Season 1 episodes
"Call Me Cordelia" (transcript) · "Less Okay" (transcript) · "Living in Avonlea" (transcript) · "A Detestable Woman" (transcript)
"I Am Extremely Sorry" (transcript) · "Making New Friends?" (transcript) · "Falsely Accused" · "Q&A #1" · "A Real Person"
"Top Five Worst Flirting Techniques" · "Birthday Basket" · "Q&A #2" · "Tea for Two" · "Matthew is a Great Help"
"A Model Student" · "Study Break" · "I Am Not a Medical Professional" · "Good News" · "Slam" · "Summer Storytelling"
"The Haunted Forest" · "Carrot Cake" · "Truth or Dare" · "Perfect Gentlemen and Prince Charmings"
"Ideal Life Plans" · "Exercises in Creativity" · "Matthew Insists" · "Styling Situation" · "I Hate Rain" · "Not Happening"
"October" · "Far Off Land" · "What Do I Call This"· "A Game of Numbers" · "HACKED BY RUBERT hahahahaha"
"Character Growth" · "Guys and...?" · "Q&A #3" · "The Sleepover" · "Video Blog #1: A Hockey Story"
"Jane Speaks: On the Death of Education" · "Poetry Love" · "Vlogggggggggggggggggggg" · "Hello Darlings!"
"Video Blog #2: Christmas Facts" · "Jane Instructs: How to Make a Paper Snowflake" · "Joy to the World"
"13 Personal Questions Tag" · "Professional Things: Interviewing Gilbert" · "Video Blog #3: Q & A"
"Jane Speaks: On Deepness" · "An Epoch" · "Grow up, ppl" · "To Be in Love" · "Damocles"
"Jane Speaks: On Scrabble" · "My Good Friends Gave to Me" · "It's a Wonderful Life" · "Opening Envelopes"
"video_42" · "Moving On" · "Changes" · "About Time" · "Epilogue"
Green Gables Fables Season 1.5 episodes
"Influential Books" · "The History of Jane Andrews" · "The Past: A Poem"
"the happiest day of my life" · "My Friends" · "Dear Doctor Blythe" · "Next Year's Plans"
"Worlds Unknown: A Poem" · "Places to Go" · "Bucket List!" · "Anne and Gil React..."
Green Gables Fables Season 2 episodes
"Goodbye, Avonlea" · "That time Fred sang Santa Fe" · "A Summer Day with Fred & Di" · "Room Decorating"
"Week One - The Scottish Play" · "Downtown" · "Terrible Roommate-itis" · "Week Two - Getting Settled"
"University!!!" · "Junk Food and Tragedy" · "Week Three - Run Away With Me" · "The Frosh Victorious"
"Week Four - Theatre Things" · "Dressing Up" · "Week Five - I Love You" · "The Adventures of Supply and Demand"
"Week Five and a Half - D-I-A-N-A" · "Romance (or Lack Thereof)" · "Week Six - Five Reasons Why Fred Wright
is the Best Boyfriend Ever
" · "The Roommate Tag" · "The (Stannis Baratheon) Roommate Tag" · "Proposal by Proxy"
"Week Seven - Drumroll" · "a ROYAL visitor" · "Averil's Atonement" · "Week Eight - Halloween Plans" · "Halloween!"
"partyyyyyy time!!!" · "Rumours of Roy" · "Week Nine - Busy" · "Major Decisions" · "Week Ten - Friday the Thirteenth"
"Glimmer Teen Magazine" · "Starting a vlog" · "Week Eleven - Choices" · "Goodbye" · "Week Twelve - Reunited"
"Finding a Cat" · "all my friends are giant nerds, send help please" · "I'm Sorry, Anne." · "Some News"
"An Apology" · "LOVE at first sight" · "Memories" · "Merry Christmas" · "For Anne, From Roy" · "Resolutions"
"The Start of Something New" · "priscilla and her problematic peer" · "Royal Gardner, Prince Charming"
"Something Begins" · "Reunited" · "Update" · "Peonies" · "super cool study buddies =D" · "A Decision?" · "Soulmates"
"Reading Week" · "people who speak **ancient** greek though .... ?" · "one last time" · "Remembering"
"Recovering" · "Not Alright" · "Falling Apart" · "True Love" · "stella talks about something rad"
"Realizations" · "WATCH THIS ANNE" · "Mixed Up" · "priscilla and her paper resolution"
"I don't know anything anymore" · "Lost Chances" · "Dreams" · "Happiness" · "Growth" · "Goodbye"
Vanessa Agnelli · Lavender Bourque · Alex J. Cairns · Eliza Crump · Jared Davies · Tanner Gillman
Darcy Grace · Mandy Harmon · Mia Hills · Ravyn Hohneke · Chris Jones · Blake Lee
Robyn Matuto · Bernadette Medhurst · Lucy McPhee · Michael Merrithew · Marium Raja
Ayla Shiblaq · Abigail Snarr · Marie Trotter · John Wamsley · Alicia Whitson
Nikki Baker · Jamie Cooper · Solange Desrochers · Tanner Gillman · Mandy Harmon · Mia Hills · Ravyn Hohneke
Lucy McPhee · Karina Mistry · Abigail Snarr · Marie Trotter · John Wamsley · Alicia Whitson
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