Read:Tightly Knotted to a Similar String

[children shouting]

Character: Too easy!

Mr. Phillips: Spell "amorous."

Character: Amorous. A-M-O-R-U-

Mr. Phillips: Ah wrong!

[children exclaiming]

Mr. Phillips: Sit down. Spell "gorgeous."

Character: G-O-R-G-I-

Mr. Phillips: Argh! Sit down, you butcher of beauty.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: Ostracize?

Children: Go, Gilbert!

Gilbert: O-S-T-R-A-C-I-Z-E.

Mr. Phillips: That would seem to be correct.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: Haughty.

Anne: H-A-U-G-H-T-Y.

Mr. Phillips: Callous.

Gilbert: C-A-L-L-O-U-S.

[cheering]

Children: You can do it, Anne!

Mr. Phillips: Penitent.

Anne: P-E-N-I-T-E-N-T.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: Intentions.

Gilbert: I-N-T-E-N-T-I-O-N-S.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: Persevere.

Anne: P-E-R-S-E-V-E-R-E.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: Engagement.

Gilbert: E-N-G-A-G M-

Mr. Phillips: That is incorrect.

[cheering]

Mr. Phillips: The spelling, not the sentiment.

[applause and cheering]

Character: Anne, you won!

Gilbert: Congratulations, Anne. I should've added an E.

Diana: Anne, are you feeling all right?

[gasping]

[panting]

Marilla: Anne?

Anne, stressed and tearful: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I disturbed you! I'm so very sorry you bet on the wrong horse!

Marilla: Whatever do you mean?

Anne, tearful: I never got to wear puff sleeves!

Marilla: What are you doing there?

Anne, nearly hysteric: If you want to send me to the hospital for the remainder of my days, I will completely understand!

Marilla, calming voice: You're not dying.

Anne: Will you please plant some pink roses on my grave?

Marilla: Anne, you are not dying. You're in your womanly flowering time, and it's perfectly normal.

Anne, exclaiming: But I'm not ready to be a woman!

Marilla: Well, it's God's plan and that's the way of it.

Anne: Oh, there's been some kind of mistake. There is no way God would think that it's time for me to be a woman!

Marilla: Now, now, let's get you sorted out. You'll need some cotton cloths to pin to your undergarments.

Anne, low voice: This can't be happening.

Marilla: And after, they'll need to be washed in cold water first, and then hot.

Anne: Oh, do you have to deal with this, too?

Marilla: I did. For many years.

Anne, exclaiming: Years?!

Marilla: Your cycle is just a few days every month-

Anne, nearly hysteric again: Every month?! But why?! Why is this happening now?! Everything was fine the way it was for once!

[Matthew walks in to the kitchen, wondering what's going on.]

Marilla: Matthew, out!

Matthew: Anne, what's wrong?

Anne: Everything!

Marilla: I said out!

[Matthew spots the bloodied sheets]

Matthew: I uh, yes barn...

[He leaves the room.]

Anne: This is a waking nightmare.

Marilla: Anne calm yourself. My word, you're hysterical.

Anne, sobbing: I hate this. I hate this. I hate this!

Marilla: There now.

[sobbing]

Marilla: Perhaps you should stay home from school today.

Anne: What?! No, no, no! I can't lose time, Marilla!

Marilla: There's no reason why you-

Anne: No, I need to keep up my academic record! I just caught up with Gil-, with the rest of the class!

Marilla: Whatever you want, Anne. Whatever you want.

[groaning] [man]: Thank you. [coughing] Mrs. Kincannon will be here shortly. I'm fine. You go on to school, son. And, um, I'll be home straight after school. All right. Thank you, son. [wheezing] [soft, dramatic music] Well, good morning, Mrs. Kincannon. Gilbert, you're late for school. I promise I'll get your wages next week at the bank. No worries. I know where you live. It was like something out of Shakespeare. Yet she insisted on going to school? Mercifully, yes. But poor Matthew had fled the house well before then. You may not see him for a week. If you see a suspicious character foraging in your garden, - please feed him some supper. - [Rachel chuckling] Oh, God. I don't miss it. I'll say it out loud: I'd rather be pregnant than menstruating. That explains all the children. [laughter] [children laughing] Shhh. Not so loud. I got mine three months ago and I feel extremely mature. - You seem mature. - You do. I think the boys take me more seriously, too. But they can't tell. Can they can tell? That would be awful. Not tell per se. But I'm not a little girl anymore, and I believe that's noticeable. My bosoms are growing. Yet another reason why this is inexplicable. I got mine last year. - Me, too. - Really? My father has started opening the door for me. It's sweet. I can't wait until I can wear my hair up. [sniffling] Ruby, what's wrong? I'm not a woman! Why don't I have it?! Trust me, if I could give you mine, I would. This is so inconvenient! - Hush, Anne! - Keep your voice down. No one's supposed to know. A woman's cycle is a shameful thing. Why? It's "unmentionable", that's why. That's not a reason. Why don't you ever understand anything? Marilla said it's God's plan, so doesn't that make it good? I mean, we can make a whole person. Where's the shame in that? Am I the only one who thinks she's out of her mind? It's a secret, Anne. That's just the way it is. Do boys have to contend with anything like this? Boys have their own problems. Why are they doing that? [grunting] There's a question for the ages. When I get mine, I stay home from school, because I don't want to have an "accident." - Accident? - There was a girl a few years ago who bled right through the back of her dress. Oh, I would die of mortification. The teacher called her up to the blackboard and everybody saw. I would just die. Which districts comprise the Prairies? Gilbert. Um the districts of Athabasca, Alberta, Saskatchewan and Assiniboia. - He's so smart. - Now that is a clever student. Anne. Which provinces comprise the Atlantic Maritimes? I'm sorry, what was the question? Could you not hear me? [loudly]: Was I not speaking loudly enough? I'm sorry, I just The Atlantic Maritimes! Sometime today. Worst. Day. Ever. "Nice boys never say people eat insects." - I beg your pardon? - It's a mnemonic device. It helps you remember things. That's, uh, the Maritimes: New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, PEI. Nice boys Diana, could you please tell Gilbert Blythe that I don't need his help? Why don't you just tell me yourself? I'm right here. I suppose I just did. Mnemonics is spelled with an M. Not that you need my help or anything. Have a good weekend. [chuckling] You, too. Sorry. [Anne sighing] Afternoon, Anne. Yes, I'm aware that it's the afternoon. - I beg your pardon? - Why doesn't anyone say what they mean? How about: Oh, hello, are you still having the world's lousiest day? Why, yes, thank you, I am! I'll thank you to mind your manners. What does that even mean?! Did you have a chance to talk things over with Diana? I talk to Diana every day, so obviously I did! Argh! [sighing] Please, finish your milk, Anne. Nothing appeals to me, Marilla. I don't feel very well. Since it's Saturday, would it be all right if I go back to bed for a little while? Yes, that's fine. I'll be leaving for Rachel's soon. Growing up is certainly a trial by fire. Since you are indeed growing up, if you'd like to invite Diana for tea today, you may. Tea?! With Diana as my guest?! - Only if you're up to it. - Oh, Marilla! You are able to imagine things after all, or else you'd never have understood how I've longed for this very thing. A grown-up tea is one of my highest ideals of earthly bliss! Oh But I have nothing to wear! You have two perfectly good dresses. They won't do for tea without puff sleeves! Matthew, tell her! She's been dreaming of those since the day we met. Since well before! Could you add puff sleeves to my grey dress? I've never heard such foolishness. But it wouldn't take too long. Please, Marilla, please? - I'm the only girl without them! - Do you want tea today or not? I do. I do! I'm sorry. I'll try to stop longing for things I can never have. I promise I'll try harder. You can open this little yellow crock of cherry preserves, and you can cut some fruitcake and have some of the cookies and snaps. I can just imagine pouring out the tea and asking Diana if she takes sugar. I know she doesn't, of course, but I'll ask her just as if I didn't know. - May we sit in the parlour? - You may. And you may have some of the raspberry cordial, as well. Oh, thank you! I must get dressed and run and ask Diana! It might turn out that I like being a grownup after all! Don't overexert yourself. Oh! Matthew! Oh, there, uh, seemed to be a a draft. I'm having Diana to tea! [giggling] I'm having Diana to tea! To tea, tea! [humming] I'll be gone most of the day. - What would you like me to do? - Whatever needs doing. You let Miss Cuthbert know I've gone to Carmody. - Head out to the gate. - Yes, sir. [horse nickering] [sighing] Don't these just look scrumptious. Would you care for some sugar? I'm ever so delighted that you could attend. Must be Saturday. Nice to have you here, son. Will you read my favourite? [Gilbert]: "Afoot and lighthearted I take to the open road.  Healthy, free,  the world before me,  the long brown path before me  leading wherever I choose." Good day, sir. May I assist you? No. No, uh, no. Well, I  Not now. [bells dinging] - Mr. Cuthbert, isn't it? Ah! - Yes. We haven't seen you for a while. What can we get for you today? We've got a special price on winter boots. - Big selection. Come in, come in. - Well, I, uh Won't you please come in? May I take your hat and coat? Why, thank you. I trust your family is well? Quite well, thank you kindly. Your table is exquisite! How nice of you to say. Won't you please sit down whilst I set the tea to steep and fetch the cordial? There are ever so many responsibilities when one is hosting company. Raspberry cordial, where are you? [muttering] [background chatter] [bells dinging] You're back. Surely there's something I can help you with. Yes. I - Would you like to look at dress styles? - I, uh, I We have ever so many to choose from. We make all the latest fashions just as if they're straight from Paris. [stammering] Matthew Cuthbert, as I live and breathe. Uh, Jeannie? And we very much hope it won't be a harsh winter this year. Winter can indeed be savage. Please, allow me. You're too kind. I love bright-red drinks, don't you? They taste twice as good as any other colour. Je vous remercie de vos belles maniÃ¨res. That's French! You speak French?! Oui, je parle franÃ§ais, couramment. Could there be anything more perfect than you speaking a romance language? My two favorite things together. [giggling] Mother plans to send me to finishing school in France. Really? Will you take me with you? You have to take me! Si vous m'en versez un peu plus. - Oui - [laughter] This cordial seems to be a different cordial from the cordial we toasted with when I became a Cuthbert, but I believe I like it better. I could drink this for the rest of my life. I'm going to make a proclamation. [laughter] I've decided that I love being a woman. There is so much to look forward to when we're even older! - Bosoms!! - [laughter] - We get to wear corsets. - Because we'll have bosoms! [laughter] Isn't it wonderful how we agree on everything? Isn't it wonderful to be so grown up? - Oh, no. - Hmm? I forgot the tea. - [laughter] - You haven't told me her name. It's Anne. - With an E. - Lovely. What does she look like? Well, uh her hair is red. She doesn't care for it, but I think it's just fine. Does she have a favorite colour? Oh, um, I couldn't say that for certain. But she loves trees and flowers and such. She's got a lot of romantic notions about life. So maybe something with a little flounce? Ruffles perhaps? And she's got a longing for a certain type of sleeve. With, um with air on the sides Puff sleeves? De rigueur. Oh, and, uh, I I brought this - Oh. - Sorry, that's That's for the the boots. So this is her size with a little room for growing. I can see why she's longing for the latest fashions. Marilla was always a very practical person. I'll use this as a pattern for the size, but everything else will be au courant. Vivienne? Please take down these measurements. Thank you, dear. I'm not worried about the cost. Just as long as she likes it. This dress will be her dream come true. And I'll give you the "old friend" discount. That's, uh That's very kind of you, Jeannie. Matthew would you like to stay for tea? It will be a few minutes to measure the dress. Oh, I I don't know. I live right upstairs, just above the shop. I'd hate to see you ride all the way back to Avonlea without fortification. All right, then. Much obliged. [giggling] Ready? One two [both]: Three!! She's a real bright little thing. She talks a mile a minute. Always something interesting to say. So you barely have to say a word. Must be heaven. [both chuckling] But you make yourself known. You once left a little something on my desk at school. Did I? You don't remember? [children's voices echoing] [indistinct chatter] Jeannie, will you teach me that pretty cross-stitch after school? It's called a feather stitch. And of course I will. Anyone else would've made a show of giving it to me. You knew I collected buttons. I told you when you walked me home that time. It wasn't long after that you left school. I was worried about you. We were all so sorry when your brother passed away. Um Yeah. I'd best be on my way. Of course. Uh Anne Anne's dress should be ready in about a week. Very kind of you, Jeannie. It was, uh It was good to see you. I I look forward to seeing you then. [sighing] [sighing] This will feed a small army. So this should be just enough for my extended family. How ever did you ever manage to have ten children? You were expecting for at least two decades. Don't remind me. Oh, hello, dear. Hello. - I hope you're not begging tea. - No, no. I was just, uh Because we're up to our britches, aren't we, Marilla? Would you like a little lick? Ooh, I could fancy that, yes. Mm. [chuckling] Off you go. Fend for yourself. [husband humming] At this point, it's all about managing expectations. You know, I could do with a spot of tea now that it's come up. You? Please. I need a little bracing. How do suppose Anne is faring with her grownup ladies' tea? I'm sure it's a very dignified affair. [Rachel laughing] [music] Jerry, hurry and hitch up the buggy, or I shall be late for the ball! [laughter] Jerry, fetch me some rose water before I have a fainting spell! - [laughter] - [waltz music] [exclamations] [laughter] [singing out of tune]: Beautiful dreamer - Wake unto me. - Dream Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee Sounds of the rude world heard in the day Lulled by the moonlight have all passed away [laughter] Mother! As you can see, this is a disgraceful scene. My word, Anne, you certainly have a genius for getting into trouble. I didn't even know I had any currant wine left in the house. I can't imagine why you had any in the first place. It was for medicinal purposes. But when the minister disapproved, I threw the remainder away long ago. Or so I thought. Your charge is a bad influence on my daughter. Anne made an honest mistake. I'm to blame. This is the last time my Diana will ever set foot in this house. Please, Mrs. Barry, I didn't mean to set Diana drunk! You are not a fit little girl for Diana to associate with. But it wasn't on purpose! Moreover, the girls are not to sit together at school. They are not to fraternize in any manner at any time. I don't disagree that the girls should be punished for all that has transpired. Might I suggest a duration of two weeks? I must preserve my Diana from the contaminations of further intimacy with such a child! My judgment is final! - Come along, Diana. - Please, Mrs. Barry, please! - Diana, come along! - Please, Mother, please! Out! [crying] [sobbing] [owl hooting] [Marilla sighing] It's been a trying day. What on earth possessed you to buy all those boots? That was a frivolous expense. They'll have to go back. [owl hooting] Do you ever think about Michael? Yes. So much would've been different if he hadn't Yes. Good night. [door creaking] Poor little soul. Not going to school today? I feel like I should just stay close. [wind whistling] [crows cawing] [loud chatter] You are not to fraternize or exert undue influence. Ruby, switch places with Anne. [all exclaiming] [quiet background chatter] Will your mother never relent? I've cried and cried and told her over and over again that it wasn't your fault. But it isn't any use. So this is an eternal farewell? Then we must speak the most pathetic language that we can think of. With thees and thous? That way we will never forget the pathos of this moment. Oh, Diana wilt thou promise faithfully never to forget me, the friend of your youth? I'll never have another bosom friend. I don't want to. I could never love anyone as I love you, Anne. Thou. Wait. You love me? Of course I do. Why don't you know that? Oh, I thought you liked me, of course, but I never hoped you loved me. I love you devotedly, Anne. And I will always love thee, Diana. In the years to come, your memory will shine like a star over my lonely life. Let us offer each other locks of our hair to treasure evermore. [sniffling] I bestow upon thou this symbol of my enduring love. Fare thee well, dearest Anne of Green Gables. Henceforth we must be as strangers living side by side. [school bell ringing] [boys shouting] Anne. [fingers snapping] Take these lessons to Gilbert Blythe. He'll be missing class for a time, and I don't want him falling too far behind. He's my best student. - Why is he missing class? - That is none of your concern. Now hurry along. Scat! [Anne sighing] Why does everything happen to me? Gilbert?! [knocking] Gilbert Blythe! [sighing] Life is so unfair. Finally. [panting] Sorry to make you wait. Gilbert is out back chopping wood. What wonderful red hair. You're the Cuthbert's new charge, aren't you? Yes. I've heard nice things about you. And how is Marilla? Still feisty, I hope? Dad, what are you doing? You shouldn't be walking! My son worries too much. It seems this young lady has urgent business. With you. I'll go inside now. I'll fetch your chair. I'll go on my own, thank you, son. It was nice to meet you. Give my kind regards to Marilla. I will. Of course, Mr. Blythe. Those for me? Uh heh. Well, uh, it's kind of you to bring them by. Mr. Phillips doesn't want you falling behind. I don't either. If you're going to beat me in class, I want you to do it fair and square. Yes. Exactly. Um thank you. See you. [soft violin music] There. Finished. [laughing] That was fast. Only took you a week. I wanted to make it quickly so Diana doesn't forget me. I'm happy to report that my flowering time is finally over. I feel much older and wiser than before. And I won't be emotional next time. I've come to realize there are far bigger worries in the world. [chuckling] So buy the dress after you return the boots, but I'm hoping this will be enough. Oh, and I must've picked this up by mistake at the dress shop. Please, just you return that to Miss Jeannie. - I hope Mr. Cuthbert's well? - Yes, madame, he's quite well. I'm glad. Please tell him I'm sorry not to have seen him today. Yes, madame. Oh, I almost forgot. Mr. Cuthbert said I'm to give you this. Au revoir! Oh, hello, Matthew. Huh. Thank you. You've gone and spoiled the child, Matthew. She's not a child anymore. Can we be a little bit late for church so everyone can see me walking in? Matthew Cuthbert, you're missing a button from your best Sunday shirt. I'm fine like this, Marilla. Well, let's go along, then. [clearing throat] If you please miss. [Anne sighing]